Well, I think I mentioned a few months back that I was trying for some free stuff through the online offers. If you remember from last spring, I tried getting an Xbox 360 from these offers. Jump over here or here to refresh your memory.

Anyway, I set out to get a 42″ Samsung Plasma TV. And I succeeded…sort of. I got together with a bunch of people from JoshClark.com in a “conga” to get a TV. Deal was, we each had to do 12 offers and refer 1 person that did the same. That’s where the “conga” comes in. It was a line that we all paid 10 bucks to get into. That way, when someone signs up, they pass their referral link to the person below them in line, and they pass it to the next person, and so on. This way everyone has a referral. The last person in line will be the only one that doesn’t get a referral, so they get the money that everyone paid to be part of the conga. Pretty good deal. Well, after about 2 months of going back and forth with a company that started out legit and quickly went to not recommended, I got my gift. Not exactly a Plasma TV, but a check for $900. The company that stuck it to us was a company called I-Deal. In the end, they just couldn’t handle all of the people fulfilling their part of the deal, so they (the company) tried to get out as easy as possible. So, now instead of getting a TV, which would encourage me to sit on my butt, I am going to buy a road bike that will enable me to do triathlons again. So, in the end, it worked out pretty good. Although if they were going to send me a check, I wish they would have sent me a check for the amount that they said the TV was worth ($1500). That would have gotten me a bike and a TV.

But, there’s more. Just when you thought it could get any better. About a month into the Plasma TV offer, they started another conga for a MacBook Pro. This gift required us to do 10 offers and 1 referral. Sounds too good to be true doesn’t it. Afterall, the TV was 12 offers and this one is 10. Plus the monetary value of a MBP is about $2000. Plus, I-Deal was doing this offer as well. It was still a reputable company in our mind (we just didn’t know yet, because a few people had already received actual TVs from them). We jumped on it quick. Around that time, some website ran an article about getting free stuff online. They even linked Josh’s site in the article. Well, the board was overrun with people wanting to get their MBP. The conga grew to a few hundred people and we eventually had to split it up into 5 different congas due to size. Fast forward a couple of weeks. I-Deal’s sites are being overrun by people actually fulfilling their obligation.

Let me take a moment to describe how these companies make money. They have you sign up for trial offers to various websites and products. These trials could be free or inexpensive. For every person that signs up through I-Deal’s sites, I-Deal gets a cut. A lot of these offers are legit sites like Netflix, Blockbuster, BMG, Columbia House DVD, and Scholastic Book Clubs. The goal I-Deal and the offer companies is to entice the user with a big ticket gift. But to qualify, you have to jump through some hoops. This alliance wants you to forget that you signed up for the trial so that they can slap you with a monthly membership fee. These fees range from $20 a month to $80 a shipment (depending what you signed up for). So, you can see where the money is to be made. If you aren’t organized, you can loose a lot of money and never get your gift. Back to our story in progress.

Well, I-Deal is being hit by a lot of organized people. They never expected this many people to fulfill their end of the bargain. So, their site (where you check the status of your account) starts having glitches. Suddenly, offers that were approved are showing pending again. Luckily, there was a huge support group in the conga. We found out that a certain level of offers (you have to do 3 levels) was showing pending for everyone. I-Deal’s response was that it was just a glitch and would be fixed soon (it took over a month for them to fix it). I can’t say for sure, but the way it looked was that I-Deal was trying to scare people into thinking that they needed to do more offers for that level. And I’m sure a lot of people did. This was just one of the many ways that I-Deal tried to scare people into quitting. And it worked for a lot of people. But those of us who hung in there got our gifts… which were nothing close to a MBP. Instead of forking up the money to those of us who jumped through every hoop for the MBP, they shafted us. We all got checks for $600, the value of an HP Laptop. Granted, that was $600 I didn’t have, but we all fulfilled our end of the bargain for the gift that we applied for. I-Deal’s response was a quote from their Terms of Service:

“WE RESERVE THE RIGHT TO SUBSTITUTE THE Laptop WITH A GIFT OF EQUAL OR LESSER VALUE DUE TO INTERNAL INVENTORY STOCK. THIS SUBSTITUTION MAY INCLUDE MONETARY COMPENSATION EQUAL TO THE VALUE OF THE ACTUAL Laptop. THE DETERMINATION OF THE ACTUAL VALUE OF THE GIFT ITEM WILL BE AT THE SOLE DISCRETION OF MYGIVEAWAYCENTRAL.COM. DECISIONS BY MYGIVEAWAYCENTRAL.COM REGARDING THE VALUE OF THE GIFT AND/OR SUITABLE ALTERNATIVE GIFTS ARE FINAL.”

So, there was nothing we could do about it but go and cash our checks before they all bounced. The MBP was going to be a gift for Amy, so I just gave her the check and said, “Merry Christmas.”

All in all, I spent the following on the offers:

Plasma TV – Spent $43, got back approx. $60 in gifts/merchandise and the $900 check.
MacBook Pro – Spent $65, got back approx. $50 in gifts/merchandise and the $600 check.

So, it turned out pretty good. I did learn a lot about internet offers this time around and who to use and not use. If you are at all interested in doing any of the sites, let me know and I give you some more info or just go over to JoshClark.com. Just do me a favor, if you do a referral site, sign up through me. Have fun!

I created a new store for the marathon shirts

Kennedy Connection Shirts

Enjoy.

You know, I’m still on the fence about who I’m gonna vote for. I really like Ron Paul, but Huckabee has a lot of momentum going into the Primaries. Ideally, I would love to see a Huckabee/Paul ticket come next November. I saw this clip and was almost rolling in the floor. I love the “Chuck Norris Facts” anyway, but to make HuckChuck Facts…one word: Classic.

Enjoy.

A friend of mine sent me an email she got that contained the following. I think I’ll have to employ a few of these techniques. Enjoy!

When I was in high school I used to be terrified of my girlfriend’s father, who I believe suspected me of wanting to place my hands on his daughter’s chest. He would open the door and immediately affect a good-naturedly murderous expression, holding out a handshake that, when gripped, felt like it could squeeze carbon into diamonds.

Now, years later, it is my turn to be the dad. Remembering how unfairly persecuted I felt when I would pick up my dates, I do my best to make my daughter’s suitors feel even worse. My motto: wilt them in the living room and they’ll stay wilted all night.

“So,” I’ll call out jovially. “I see you have your nose pierced. Is that because you’re stupid or did you merely want to APPEAR stupid?”

As a dad, I have some basic rules, which I have carved into two stone tablets that I have on display in my living room.

RULES FOR DATING MY DAUGHTER

Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you had better be delivering a package, because you’re sure as heck not picking anything up.

Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter’s body, I will remove them.

Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don’t take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big and I will not object. However, in order to assure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric staple gun and fasten your trousers securely in place around your waist.

Rule Four: I’m sure you have been told that in today’s world, sex without utilizing a “barrier method” of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate: when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I WILL kill you.

Rule Five: In order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house and the only word I need from you on this subject is “early.”

Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make YOU cry.

Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don’t you do something useful, like washing in my car?

Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter. Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts or anything other than overalls, a sweater and a goose down parka zipped up to her Adam’s apple. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies, which feature chain saws, are okay. Hockey games are okay.

My daughter claims it embarrasses her to come downstairs and find me attempting to get her date to recite these eight simple rules from memory. I’d be embarrassed too–there are only eight of them, for crying out loud! And, for the record, I did NOT suggest to one of these cretins that I’d have these rules tattooed on his arm if he couldn’t remember them. (I checked into it and the cost is prohibitive.) I merely told him that I thought writing the rules on his arm with a ball point might be inadequate–ink washes off-and that my wood burning set was probably a better alternative.

One time, when my wife caught me having one of my daughter’s would-be suitors practice pulling into the driveway, get out of the car and go up to knock on the front door. (He had violated rule number one, so I figured he needed to run through the drill a few dozen times) she asked me why I was being so hard on the boy. “Don’t you remember being that age?” She challenged.

Of course I remember. Why do you think I came up with the eight simple rules?

PERMIT FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER

This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete statement of job history, lineage and current medical report from your doctor.
1. NAME: ___________________ DATE OF BIRTH: _________________

2. HEIGHT: _________ WEIGHT: ___________ IQ: _____ GPA: _______

3. SOCIAL SECURITY #: ______________ DRIVERS LICENSE #: _____

4. BOY SCOUT RANK: _________________________________________

5. HOME ADDRESS: ______________ CITY/STATE: ________ ZIP: ____

6. Do you have one MALE and one FEMALE parent? ____________

7. Number of years parents married: ________________________

8. Do you own a van? ____ A truck w/oversized tires? ______ Water bed? ____ Do you have an earring, nose ring or belly button ring? ____ Tattoo? _____ (IF YES TO ANY OF #8, DISCONTINUE AND LEAVE PREMISES!)
9. In 50 words or less, what does LATE mean to you? ________________________________________
10. In 50 words or less, what does “DON’T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER” mean to you? ______________

11. In 50 words or less, what does ABSTINENCE mean to you? ________________________________

12. Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely – all answers confidential. (That means I won’t tell anyone ever – promise).
A. If I was shot, the last place on my body I would want to be wounded is in the _________.
B. If I was beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my ______________.
C. A woman’s place is in the ______________.
D. The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is _________________.

13. What do you want to be IF you grow up? _______________.

I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.

__________________________________________
Signature (that means sign your name moron)

Thank you for your interest. Please allow four to six years for processing. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write.

That’s why I need to have a son now. That way he can beat up all of the guys under 18 and I can maim all the ones over 18. Actually, maybe I need to have 4 or 5 sons and they can be her entourage.